Just the other day, I received a familiar question. It’s a question that I have gotten tossed my way quite frequently in my time in ministry. It was a question related to how we as Christians should think about and interact with a new technology - in this case, it was with reference to AI. I’ve gotten that type of question with respect to streaming of music and television to the use of social media and cell phones (I know, that dates me, but notice I didn’t say 8 Tracks or Pagers). Usually, I get this question because some new technology or advancement has taken place and offers a new set of challenges for Christians to think through. To be honest, the best way to think about new technology is to have a series of principles that apply to any technology. The difficult part lies in taking those principles and then applying them to the newest innovation.

 

I want to offer you a series of principles in this article that stemmed from a seminar I taught last fall. Keith (our youth director) asked if I would be willing to teach a seminar for parents concerning teens and the use of technology. I reluctantly agreed to do so because I am not the most tech savvy. I mean, this blog was first drafted by a fountain pen on old fashioned lined paper. But I did agree, of course. I am not going to share everything from that seminar, but I do want to briefly share the last part. I concluded by providing seven principles for a parent to consider as they plan how they are going to handle technology with their children. These principles are not exhaustive, but you might find some of them beneficial for your approach to technology and whatever new advancement that shows up. Remember, the principles are from the perspective of a parent, so some of them focus in on specifically navigating technology with your teenager.

1) The Heart is Wicked

The Bible makes it pretty clear that our hearts are prone to wickedness. Jeremiah 17:9 says,  “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Proverbs 28:26 - “Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered,” and Matthew 15:19 - “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” Despite Disney’s endorsement to follow your heart, the Bible’s encouragement is to cleanse your heart. When it comes to technology, our hearts will use it in ways that do not honor the Lord if we do not have good accountability or have purposed our hearts like Daniel to not defile ourselves (Dan 1:8).

2) The Home is Where a Teen Can Find What They Need

This point relates specifically to parenting. As you parent a teenager, you want to make the home a place where a teen can find what they need. Notice I did not say that the home is the only place where a teen can find what they need, but it should be a place where they can. What does a teen need? Community, acceptance, guidance, status, and joy. If the teen is not finding these at home, you can guarantee that they will scour the internet for it. The challenge for parents is to create an atmosphere where these can be met at home.

3) Teens are One Step Ahead of You

This is another major parenting point. Whatever you think your child knows about the world and technology, he most likely knows much more. I think that many parents are ignorant of what their children know about technology and the internet, even if they are in extremely sheltered situations. The moment a child has access to the internet is the moment a child has access to anything in the world. This is not to advocate that a child should have no access to the internet, but is to say that we can’t be ignorant and think our child is naive. They are much smarter than we give them credit for. 

4) Communication is Key

Hebrews 3:12-13 reminds us, “Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” This passage should not be limited solely to church relationships, but should be practiced within the home. Our exhortation to our children will not fall on receptive ears if we have not put in the time and effort to create an environment where communication is the norm in the home. I appreciate what Paul David Tripp writes:  “Create a home environment where conversation is always taking place—where children cannot mumble greetings, sit at the kitchen table in silence, or spend all their time alone in their rooms. We have to be determined to talk to them and to get them to talk to us, preferably, every day. As we do this, we need to face our own spiritual blindness. We are not immune to any of the sins we have discussed in these pages. In our conversations with our teenagers, God is working to open not only their eyes but ours as well” (Age of Opportunity, 203). 

5) Teach and Model Repentance

Our children will fail when it comes to technology. They will see things, say things, and be places where they ought not to be. That shouldn’t shock us. The question is have we taught them how to biblically address sin in their lives, including sins related to tech? You have probably heard the phrase, more is caught than taught. It’s true, especially when it comes to the idea of repentance. Your child will learn repentance as you practice repentance with them–demonstrating to them the importance of admitting your own sin and handling it well. As you do this while they grow up, the idea will not seem so foreign when it comes to confessing and repenting of sin related to social media and the internet. 

6) Teach and Model a Healthy Lifestyle with Technology

Like I just said, more is caught than taught, including a healthy lifestyle with technology. We can’t complain about our kids being on the phone all day long when we scroll through reels as we watch a movie together as a family. Our kids are watching us and learning how we interact with technology. We cannot simply tell them how to handle tech, we have to model it. Put the phone down and look in their eyes when they are talking to you. If they are trying to get your attention, stop the podcast and pull out the earbud so they know you are listening. Teach them how to sit at a bus station and not instantly pull out the phone. They are watching, model a healthy lifestyle for them.

7) Remember who Produces Technology

Do you remember when people were up in arms about the “censuring” that took place on Twitter and Facebook during the pandemic? We treated those platforms as if they were public forums, not what they actually were: platforms run by private companies for profit. We all clicked “I agree” on the terms and conditions page without ever reading anything, ultimately agreeing that those platforms owned our information and could sell it to the highest bidder. Then, when the private company acted like a private company, we got enraged. We forgot that they owned the platform and that we had agreed to their terms. As we engage with any new technology, we have to remember that Silicon Valley worships the mighty dollar bill and is driven to maximizing profit. She does not have your best interest at heart. Whistleblower after whistleblower has revealed how our social media platforms study psychological behavior in order to keep us addicted to their tech. I don’t say this so you quit social media ( I can’t say I miss it since I have left), but that you need to remember who owns your Facebook page, Instagram feed, and For You page. 

Much more could and should be said about teens and technology, but this is a start. Just like any other area in our lives, we should sift what we think through Scripture. 

 

Your servant in the Lord,